LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
