Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
