Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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