You made me cry and you don't even care
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
