Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
