Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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