It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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