We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
