Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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