piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
