he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
