Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
