I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My dick has a subreddit
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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