shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
