Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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