and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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