Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize