But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
