He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
