i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
