I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize