Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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