sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
someone owes me an orgasm
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize