yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
