i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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