giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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