Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
