ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
