I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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