i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
