So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
someone get that fucking seahorse.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's official drugs can't kill me
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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