I need help removing her.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
