That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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