Where are you?
In a non slutty way
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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