dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize