I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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