every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Damn victory sex feels great
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
