So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize