so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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