Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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