what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
