Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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