need another drink. this is the easiest way
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i believe in u and ur pee
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
