Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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