like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
