i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
