Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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