i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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