I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
