Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
