I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize