My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
