it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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