you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
