you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
