the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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