Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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