you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
