Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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