She's JV to your varsity
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
