if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
