i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
