It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
