there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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