Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
