He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
