omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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