Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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