PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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