I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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