I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize