respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize