What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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