good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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