I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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