Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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