Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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