it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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